What is Internal Family Systems?

Internal Family Systems Therapy is a “Parts Based” Theory developed by psychologist, Dr. Richard Schwartz.  It is a transformative approach to healing the wounded parts of you by turning your attention inward and being curious about how you are showing up in your world.  Rather than focusing on the outside world and others, which we have no control over, we focus our attention inward, noticing strong feelings or reactions to others and situations, exploring your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and identifying internal conflicts.   Throughout our lives when we experience  hurt, trauma, shame, humiliation, abuse, neglect, or painful experiences, parts of us emerge to attempt to protect us and keep up safe and handle the situation we are in.  These parts can get so good at doing their job and become extreme, unintentionally causing us more pain rather than helping us, not realizing we are no longer in that same painful situation.  These parts are working really hard to keep that wounded part of you from ever feeling like that again.  

According to Internal Family Systems Therapy, parts take on three common roles: 

Managers:  Managers are proactive and always in the background working hard to “never again be caught off guard”.  They plan, control, strive, criticize, worry, and care for others.  They work hard to help us live our daily lives trying to avoid vulnerable feelings.  They help you get things done and get approval from the outside world and try to keep things running smoothly.  

Firefighters: Firefighters work to protect you from vulnerable feelings too, but they are more reactive.  They show up when managers fail to protect your vulnerable feelings or wounded parts from emerging.  They act fast to put out the emotional flames to protect you and are often impulsive, desperate, harsh, and even destructive.  Firefighters don’t often get the approval from the outside world, because even though they are working hard to protect you, they often have messy and unpleasant consequences.  Their role is to distract or dissociate until the coast is clear and they feel you are no longer in danger of feeling hurt or vulnerable.  

Exiles: These are the vulnerable parts of you.  They are often younger parts that carry shame, rage, terror, grief, loneliness, painful memories, negative beliefs, and wounds.  In order for you to get on with your daily living, they had to be pushed down deep and shut away.  These are the parts that your managers and firefighters are working hard to protect.   

Self-Energy or Self is another common term used in Internal Family Systems.  Self-energy exists in everyone.  Self isn’t a part and doesn’t have an agenda.  It is who you are at your core the moment your life begins.  It is always present and cannot be destroyed, but can sometimes be hidden behind parts.  Think of self as the sun, always present, even when it is stuck behind the clouds.  Exploring the parts of you and healing them can liberate your self-energy and bring harmony to your life again.  

The Qualities of Self are:

• Confidence

• Calmness

• Creativity

• Clarity

• Curiosity

• Courage

• Compassion

• Connectedness

• Presence

• Patience

• Perspective

• Persistence

• Playfulness

Our therapist is a Level 1 trained Internal Family Systems therapist offering telehealth Internal Family Systems therapy to Missouri residents and in-person Internal Family Systems therapy to Stoddard Country.   Reach out today to start the journey  looking inward and exploring and healing the parts of you and identifying internal conflicts to find your authentic self again. 

To learn more about Internal Family Systems, Click the following links:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

https://ifs-institute.com/

What is IFS Therapy? | Intro to Internal Family Systems

How I Became a Warrior Poem:

How I Became A Warrior - by Jeff Foster